Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize