She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
