Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
