Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
