The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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