Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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