remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
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BACON IS GOOD FOR ME
This site should be renamed, randomshititexted
12:14, I love when that happens to me! and why to call this text. effing awesome!
*And way to call this text**
a sign on you back that said "ass-fuck me"?
There's nothing better than waking up to pretzels stuck to your nude body
A little poo on my lip. Uh, tlk about a little embarrasing!
Haha I don't think I want to know..
You wanna know how I got these scars?
As long as it wasn't a colostomy bag, you're okay.
a 5-dollar bill and a thank-you note
That's cool, but I wouldn't tell you what I found stuck to me this morning.
It was my penis... stuck to your butthole.
Oh I get it! It's funny because they probably woke up with something silly stuck to them!
(in mom voice) did someone "superman that ho" last night? "aww, that's my girl!!"