Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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