sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize