another moral hangover. fuck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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