We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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