he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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