So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
