Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
