So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
