her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
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this beer tastes like vomit already
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.