too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this sober since birth.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.