We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown a few things in my day
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad