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  • 50 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:51am

    this was obviously a statement made to get rid of HIM not her

  • 55 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:03am

    Stay classy, Orlando.

  • 45 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:35am

    Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll punch you in the cunt, it's legal in France.

  • 45 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:10pm

    well no one said you had to get married, who cares

  • 38 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 5:04pm

    After that statement I'd go to the restroom and bail.

  • 50 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:25pm

    even if the girl was joking, she still probably will let herself go...hell i've seen it happen to peoples girlfriends after a year or too...they get fat and whiny and then wonder why their husband/boyfriend cheats

  • 46 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:51pm

    10:57 - because I'm sure you're only person in the world to ever say this... get over yourself. 11:35 - you are the definition of hilarious. I don't even know why... but it's awesome.

  • 43 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:43am

    LMFAO. @ July 17, 2009 11:35AM

  • 43 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:19pm

    haha everyone assumes the blind date was a chick... I know some pretty vain guys who would hold the mentality that they have to look perfect until they settle down. GOD so many husbands put on fugly beer guts in like, less than a year!

  • 43 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:30pm

    how do we know the message was sent by a guy and the blind date was a girl?

  • 41 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:12am

    "I can't wait for the end of dinner, so I can let you go."

  • 37 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:50am

    Cock blocked before you got the check for dinner=Dutch treat

  • 39 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:57am

    Just reply to that with "that's why I am never going to get married", finish your meal and then say you're going to the bathroom and sneak out leaving her to pay the check. She can find her own fucking way back home.

  • 39 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 9:54pm

    it is from college humor. ha

  • 33 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 7, 09 at 9:53am

    8:47 is quite obviously not a human.

  • 41 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:57am

    This was on ruminations a while back. How do I know? Because it happened to me and I submitted it! You fucking unoriginal twat.

  • 34 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:53am

    yeah...i think she sabotaged it on purpose...so that's when you counter with "mmmm...i love bangin fat chicks"

  • 38 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 8:47pm

    Both genders let themselves go after marriage. Fucking lazy humans.

  • 36 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:42am

    11:35 made me actually lol. win.

  • 39 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 5:35pm

    Pretty sure that was on college humor

  • 39 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:06pm

    just because you fuck fat guys doesn't mean I fuck fat chicks. Hit the treadmill sweetheart

  • 35 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:33am

    You should've punched her in the vag

  • 32 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:17pm

    so when it happens to a guy, it MUST be planned by the girl, but if it happens to a girl (a guy saying something retarded on the 1st date), it CANT be? look at the text about the guy who started talking about "feelings" for reference. fucking feminists with their double standards.

  • 36 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:54am

    i am moving to France

  • 33 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:10am

    thats when you reply with "oh dont worry i dont plan on marrying you i was just going to put it in your poopar a few times then run"

  • 34 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:32pm

    i've definitely heard that somewhere before