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  • 49 26
    Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Oct 6, 10 at 11:22am

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who has fantasies like this.

  • 50 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:56pm

    holy hell..I'm going to go shove a lit candle up my ass now

  • 49 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:32pm

    Lol Grape girl is a inbred

  • 45 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:26pm

    11:16: Did it hurt when you got slapped in the face with irony?

  • 46 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:14pm

    12:10 why did they name it 'water'? i imagine it had something to do with a bad water supply so they drank vodka because it was healthier. just curious.

  • 55 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:16pm

    2:39 - I am proud to be an American...I mean United Statesian.

  • 41 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:00pm

    You stay classy San Diego

  • 45 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:01am

    That's a horrible infection waiting to happen, ewwwww.

  • 48 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 3:50pm

    Chocolate vagina is the greatest thing ever

  • 47 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:12am

    My man wanted a tuna fish sandwich so I got creative and put the tuna in my vag for him to eat. Mmmmm. Thanks for the candybar idea

  • 46 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:56pm

    Ew tuna? Why can't you just not involve food? Well atleast not fish

  • 43 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:17am

    July 17, 2009 11:12AM-that's disgusting...I hope he puked on your face...

  • 46 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:57pm

    i dont know whats grosser....milky ways or her dirty snatch

  • 42 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:32am

    honey, I think there is some Tuna fish still up there from last week, Its really beginning to smell

  • 43 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:39pm

    1:10... 'America' is a continent... Canada is part of that continent as is the United States of America (that's why it's 'of'). And furthermore, cheque is British by origin. Dumbass.

  • 52 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 5:00pm

    i second that 1:25 drink it upppp

  • 38 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 10:23am

    It makes me really really happy that the first poster actually put that much thought into it. I wonder if they believe that. Heaven = fiction.

  • 37 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:11pm

    im glad im not the only person that thought of pineapple express when i read this

  • 38 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:06pm

    I'm so glad others think grape girl is weird. I was beginning to think everyone on this site was a grade 10 dropout who sat around waiting for the welfare cheques and thinking up ridiculously lewd sexual acts.

  • 44 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:01pm

    11:23 That is fucking disgusting. You should definately kill yourself..

  • 37 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:26am

    Nope im just passionate about alcohol and dont want some dumbass spouting off "facts" about it that are not true

  • 36 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 10:21am

    10:56 You're thinking of whiskey.

  • 38 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:28pm

    11:16 said that vodka got its name from Russia, not that vodka originated there 12:10.

  • 38 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:16am

    11:12, the intelligence in your admittedly valid point is effectively counter-acted by the utter lack of punctuation and capitalization.

  • 30 32
    Submitted by tiffmurph on May 13, 11 at 2:20am

    Vaginas are diabetic, so putting anything containing sugar in it is a bad idea. Other than that, I don't see the problem in putting whatever you want in your own vagina.

  • 42 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:03am

    what a waste of a good candy bar.

  • 41 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:33pm

    "Justin, I just want to tell you, I just put on the best shirt ever, it had a little hole right where my nipple is and the hole was just big enough for my nipple to fit through it and my nipple just hung out of it." (ijustwanttotellyou.c0m)

  • 35 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:09pm

    12:02 you must not know how to wash properly. And before you get even more retarded, maybe talk to people who've done food-play and ask them how many times they've had infections. Stop assuming everyone's stupid about their bodies/not clean. Dick.

  • 33 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 5:42pm

    first off who cares wherever vodka originated from or its meanings - its a great gift from god second- i can understand maybe a milkyway for kicks - but tuna seems somewhat ironic and disgusting, and grapes, well that just seems really fucking wierd.

  • 37 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:52pm

    omg so this text is about milky ways in vag's but your all still bitching at each other about whether or not poland or russia made vodka first..... hmmmm

  • 43 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:59pm

    12:14 are you that retarded? It's called different languages dumbass.

  • 38 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 9:31pm

    12:56 umm not a lit candle but blow the candle out and let the wax build up cool for a few then drip that ove the ass crack and cheeks where it sensitive, its fcking amazing at least to me.. and fruit of all sorts yes with whip cream no candy bars yet anyways

  • 41 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 4:59pm

    SAN DIEGO REPRESENT! CANDY BARS IN OUR PUSSIES AND VODKA IN OUR HEAVEN. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT! 619 858 and 760

  • 28 32
    Submitted by LOVELIFEE on Mar 8, 10 at 4:28pm

    EW .

  • 32 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 11:34am

    there are 7 continents dumbass!

  • 43 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:58am

    I just don't see the need for candy bars and pussy to ever cross paths.

  • 41 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:01pm

    sorry, gonna get on a soapbox for a second - People who are saying you'll get infections from putting tuna and candy in your twat really make me laugh. First, it's called washing up after the fun. Hygiene. Yay. Second, you let people put their filthy-ass, germ-riddled tongues and fingers in your snatch and you don't say a damn thing about "infections." Wtf. Have fun in Ironic Oxymoron Land while the rest of us are having good, adventurous clean fun.

  • 33 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 11:40am

    Bahahah! Someone said there's only five continents! Lmfao 

  • 41 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 1:59pm

    Milky ways sounds an awful lot like a creampie, gross

  • 39 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:07pm

    2:39 Bugger off fuckstain

  • 35 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 3:43pm

    Vodka is a drink that originated in blah blah blah who the fuck cares...and theres no reason to ruin a perfectly good candy bar...

  • 38 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:35am

    Then you ate a box of Nerds out of her butt hole.

  • 31 42
    Submitted by armor8k8piercing on May 9, 11 at 8:19pm

    Mmmmmmm Nueget and pussy

  • 29 38
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:21pm

    You guys have never heard about the girl who missed some of the leftover whipped cream in her vag and got maggots up there? I have like two friends who swear they know girls that that happened to. Pretty sure they're lying, but still.

  • 36 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:09pm

    wait, you put a milky way in up there and then your bf ate it? that's gross and way to ruin the best candy bar

  • 36 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:12am

    Vodka actually derives from the russian word for water and does not literally mean the the water of life it does have very weak ties to the latin aqua vitea which was an alcoholic beverage that was called the water of life but vodka itself does not mean water of life

  • 38 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 5:13pm

    Wow. I'm glad I'm not a rug muncher, though I live in san diego. Makes you wonder "is that pus, nougat or perhaps a little custard from last week's lunch?"

  • 40 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 4:47pm

    you should put an ice cube in your vagina instead, clean and the difference in temperature gives you a really strange but nice sensation! might clean out some of that tuna too!

  • 35 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:59am

    What is it with cunts and candy bars today

  • 35 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:19am

    ok professor simmer down. by the sounds of things i assume most of ur texts from last night include offers for cheap ringtones and $2-per-text sex texts from some dirty site u saw on at 3am on friday night when u were on this site alone trying to sound smart.

  • 37 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:10pm

    Vodka didn't originate in Russia, but in Poland (look it up.) Woda (w basically is v in polish) is the word for water and eventually ended up turning from Wodka to Vodka for the rest of the world.

  • 31 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:16pm

    12:12 maybe, but on the other hand 11:16 might be one of those people who believes something just because it's all frilled-out in intellectual jargon.

  • 35 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 5:22pm

    858, daaaaas me. hell yeah san diego. and call me weird, which you will, but the milky way in pussy thing sounds HOT. haha and imma chick. so huh.

  • 32 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:00pm

    I'm trying to figur out the OXYMORON 12:01 is talking about Clean Vagina? Filthy Twat? I'm just not seeing two words that mean the exact opposite, yet are put together to describe something

  • 31 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:58am

    Boo! Too intellectual for this

  • 33 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:48am

    Water of life, water, who gives a fuck. Let's just all get drunk together and not argue.

  • 31 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:47am

    PINAPPLE EXPRESSSS!!!!! man i love that movie.

  • 34 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 8:57pm

    2:39 Actually, 'America' is NOT a continent...but NORTH AMERICA is, you fucking dumbass.

  • 29 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:23am

    im with ya tuna girl. me and my guy stuff as many grapes as we can into eachothers asshole and then push them out into eachothers mouth. should try !

  • 36 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 5:45am

    i ate a lollipop out of a strippers glory hole

  • 33 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:53pm

    Why give a fuck about what anyone else does, mind your own business, if you like food in your vagina then I don't care because it's not in my vagina. If you don't like food in your vagina I don't care either because IT'S NOT MY VAGINA! Chill the fuck out about all this shit, why does it matter if someone else is doing something? It doesnt affect you at all, you all sound close-minded. STFU.

  • 34 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 7:38pm

    Um... actually America IS a continent. I have no idea why you'd think there are three americas, when in the rest of the world last time I checked there were only five continents.

  • 24 42
    Submitted by ellamegan on Dec 9, 10 at 7:51pm

    REPEAT\nThis was posted in like the first year of TFLN

  • 32 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:17pm

    stay classy san diego

  • 29 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:47pm

    5:22 i'm with you! and have done similar things. you know what the best thing about frosting on skin is? you have to lick HARDER.

  • 28 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:26pm

    look who learned to use the g o o g l e on the internte machine

  • 27 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 13, 09 at 6:35am

    I spit up alittle from laughter while reading this

  • 28 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 12:02am

    10:53 good job, cunt.

  • 33 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:10pm

    yo canadian, in America they are just called CHECKS

  • 28 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:20am

    You must just be borning. He likes to do things like that and I'm a good girlfriend. I like to please.

  • 34 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 1:37pm

    I hope to god the grape person was a troll. I thought it was kinda sarcastic, but people are taking it seriously... 5:45am is win. I don't know why. But I'm sure of it.

  • 36 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:02pm

    Thing is, I don't leave bits of finger and tongue behind after I'm done. Even with washing, chances of missing a bit of tuna or a smear of chocolate in one of the many folds are high. Enjoy your cunt rot.

  • 33 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:56am

    Vodka literally means "Water of life," so if they drink that in heaven, they're gonna get sent back to earth. So I don't think so!

  • 32 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:25pm

    If the sea was vodka and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up. But the sea isn't vodka and I'm not a duck, so pass me my drink and shut the fuck up!

  • 30 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:28am

    11:19: You're right. Because it's currently 3 am and I'm on this site. Or wait, it's 11:30 and I'm bored at work. And I manage to be a great girlfriend and keep my man pleased without resorting to tuna. Enjoy the infections girls!

  • 29 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:18pm

    go fuck yourself san diego

  • 22 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:19am

    Eww. Tuna, really? You know msot fish that you get today is contaiminated with mercury and all kinds of junk so putting it up there is probably not a great idea. Or eating it. But that's just gross.

  • 25 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:11pm

    fingers and tongues carry germs, and they get left behind. but soooomehow people don't get infections, gee, and neither do they from food or whatever. hell if the 11:23 person can do what she does and not die, everyone needs to just be cool.

  • 34 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:12pm

    11:16, that was beautiful

  • 24 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:55pm

    VERY NICE 1:25. Have a drink on me.

  • 24 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 1:18pm

    Vodka is a drink which originated in Eastern Europe, the name stemming from the Russian word 'voda' meaning water or, as the Poles would say 'woda'. So both are correct.