you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Send us your Text From Last Night!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her