It was confusing and full of hummus
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I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.