Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
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On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.