you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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