Texts From Last Night · philelias's Favorites

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philelias's Favorites Texts:

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(479): View more from Arkansas

When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"

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(917): View more from New York City

If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

(917): View more from New York City

Those had pot in them

(917): View more from New York City

And good luck on your interview asshole

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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