Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
