I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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