I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?