I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you didnt know i had herpes?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother