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It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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