Texts From Last Night · haiku_b_doobie's Favorites

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haiku_b_doobie's Favorites Texts:

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(206): View more from Washington

Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

Fav 27 2196 5986
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(585): View more from New York

I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

Fav 19 5737 2137
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(661): View more from California

I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

Fav 19 5391 2752
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

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(312): View more from Illinois

If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

Fav 7 4222 1582
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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(301): View more from Maryland

if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

Fav 5 1378 812
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