please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
