i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.