no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?