Texts From Last Night

capnj1545's Favorites Texts:

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  (210): View more from Texas

  no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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  (210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe
  Replies (8) Good night (1101) Bad night (3390) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  It smells like ranch

  (925): View more from California

  Must be all the white people

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  (925): It smells like ranch (925): Must be all the white people http://tfl.nu/51vw
  Replies (52) Good night (5078) Bad night (1570)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

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  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
  Replies (34) Good night (10150) Bad night (901)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"

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  (214): I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night" http://tfl.nu/h7ul
  Replies (14) Good night (1852) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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  (603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8
  Replies (32) Good night (16566) Bad night (924)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did he notice?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

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  (267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng
  Replies (82) Good night (1368) Bad night (9540)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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  (708): its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something http://tfl.nu/mg8h
  Replies (35) Good night (5372) Bad night (1538) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14045) Bad night (1411)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the vacuum is drunk

  (703): View more from Virginia

  what?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

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  (908): the vacuum is drunk (703): what? (908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk http://tfl.nu/sgxh
  Replies (17) Good night (2287) Bad night (305)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?

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  (973): would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"? http://tfl.nu/lhgh
  Replies (20) Good night (3616) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

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  (317): if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught http://tfl.nu/rq68
  Replies (13) Good night (4652) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

  (513): View more from Ohio

  is this your pickup line?

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  (304): my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh (513): is this your pickup line? http://tfl.nu/r4ba
  Replies (20) Good night (559) Bad night (5101)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

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  (440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation http://tfl.nu/gydk
  Replies (78) Good night (5845) Bad night (6397) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.

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  (252): i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too. http://tfl.nu/myt5
  Replies (55) Good night (5804) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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  (520): The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. http://tfl.nu/emrq
  Replies (9) Good night (4909) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?

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  (859): What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms? http://tfl.nu/1h9x
  Replies (25) Good night (3183) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.

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  (214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had. (972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/y4qf
  Replies (13) Good night (1976) Bad night (301)
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  (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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  (310): So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he. http://tfl.nu/52vb
  Replies (50) Good night (14296) Bad night (1989) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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  (712): whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice? http://tfl.nu/r74z
  Replies (90) Good night (3835) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt