I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
