Texts From Last Night

beachottie101's Favorites Texts:

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
  Replies (57) Good night (524) Bad night (6438) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

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  (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn
  Replies (116) Good night (65449) Bad night (3903) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1309) Bad night (4789) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (1854) Bad night (5222)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, if you don't take her, I will.

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  (901): She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle. (1-901): Dude, if you don't take her, I will. http://tfl.nu/8ufn
  Replies (34) Good night (6693) Bad night (1127)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5640) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

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  (302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6
  Replies (149) Good night (1551) Bad night (5804) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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  (561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu
  Replies (18) Good night (3609) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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  (913): Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount. http://tfl.nu/7zsg
  Replies (21) Good night (6413) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6157) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day

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  (334): just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day http://tfl.nu/5gym
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (3018) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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  (201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq
  Replies (21) Good night (1140) Bad night (5478)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (13788) Bad night (1228)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.

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  (703): I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number. http://tfl.nu/ol2r
  Replies (19) Good night (6927) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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  (417): I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka (479): I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once http://tfl.nu/xq51
  Replies (10) Good night (5878) Bad night (715)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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  (256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db
  Replies (30) Good night (7909) Bad night (978)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.

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  (913): Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go. http://tfl.nu/47sp
  Replies (18) Good night (5302) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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  (630): I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea. http://tfl.nu/9kka
  Replies (9) Good night (4816) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.

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  (941): My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways. http://tfl.nu/nnm9
  Replies (19) Good night (6263) Bad night (1055)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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  (952): Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/sdyg
  Replies (15) Good night (3862) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won

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  (252): Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won http://tfl.nu/atk6
  Replies (30) Good night (13284) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt