I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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