I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
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More like the smoothest virgin in your university's history...
Yeah, those commercials about Keith Stone? That's just advertising my friend. No one actually likes that shit. Try again.
No one has ever done this before. You are so original. Your mom is extremely proud of you. Also, natural selection definitely favors you because you are so intelligent and original.
Cool story bro!
Wizard of da 'hood!