The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Randomize
