is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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