Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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