I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
