I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize