I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
