i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
