Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
