I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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