One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
