you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
