ugly people sure do ruin things
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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