you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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