we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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