i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
