good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize