HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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