When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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