im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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