dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
