How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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Just spritz him with a water bottle
My friend looked down and said "Be careful. Other people have to play with that when you are done."
Try telling him "it really turns me on when you use a softer, more delicate approach". For the most part, with any sentence starting with "it really turns me on when..." he is going to take note. Just don't abuse the power!
I say return the favor, he should be smart enough to figure it out then
stop using peanut butter to get oral from your dog..that would be a good start
Speaking as a guy, we suck at "polite" and "subtle" (no pun intended). I think "my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you" conveys your thoughts perfectly.
It's because you taste like cat food down there.
Somebody needs the Dog Whisperer.